Party Time.

Well it's been the last week in the House before a two week recess and because it's the middle of the year there's been a few gathering during the week. My spies tell me there's been some interesting attendances.

Tuesday night saw United Future and the Greens have their bashes. My spy eschewed United Future on the basis it would be red wine and communion biscuits and a lot of hearty prayer and made a beeline for the Greens. Apparently the organic beer was exceptionally good this year and the finger food superb (although Sue Kedgley was taken to task for its origins not being labelled). Among the usual Green Party hangers on there were some guests whose presence might not have been anticipated. Quite a few Nat's turned up, notably Party leader Don Brash and Deputy Leader Gerry Brownlee. The word is being exposed to such a gather of rampant socialism didn't cause them to spontaneously combust and they actually appeared to enjoy themselves.

On Wednesday night it was the National Party's turn. According to my Molesworth mole the Nat's are party animals when they get going (which is kind of hard to believe from their everyday appearance)and this was no exception. Celebrations went into the wee hours leaving many MP's worse for wear the next day. Their attendance at Select Committees on Thursday morning was somewhat sparse.

Anyway in the spirit of reciprocity a number of Green MP's made it along for the event. It's hard to imagine Keith Locke boogying down with the Judith Collins and Murray McCullys of this world but apparently it did happen.

One can only imagine what the Labour hacks are making of this new Blue _Green relationship. Especially in light of the Government losing a vote on microchipping last week.

Still Dancing - But is it Horizontal?

Some interesting observations were to be made in Parliament during question time today. After a lengthy absence through his Dancing with the Stars duties ACT Party leader Rodney Hide was back in the house.

The rhythmless one appeared to be making up for missed time being very feisty and essentially trying to take on the Speaker Margaret Wilson. He raised one point of order after another during the debate over Auckland's power situation. Now Rodney's normally rambunctious at the best of times but today it seemed as if he was puting on an extra special performance.

I wonder if it had anything to do with the fact his erstwhile dancing partner, Krystal, was watching his every move from the public gallery? It was very obvious that when Hide finished his performance and departed the chamber she was quick to follow.

So their TV dancing my be over but it seems there's still some lambada going on.

When is Helen Going?

Rumours are floating around the circuit in Wellington as to just how likely it is that Prime Minister Helen Clark will remain in her current position. I’m not talking about a leadership coup, her position at the head of the Labour Party is secure for as long as she wants it. Rather it’s to do with the next job that she is seeking.

It is no secret that Clark has set her sights on the Secretary General’s position at the UN. That story has being doing the rounds for some time and most in political circles are well aware of her ambitions in that direction. However lately there have been a few developments that indicate the Prime Minister’s ambitions may be close to being realised.

So what is the evidence for this?

Firstly, look at the recent surge in State visits she’s been involved in over the past few years. By my count there have been well over 20 and many of them have involved countries that have little or no strategic or economic connections to New Zealand. Lithuania is a prime example. What is the benefit our Prime Minister being involved in such a matter? We do little or no trade with them so why is Clark taking the time to talk to their head of state? Canvassing support, soliciting a vote should she take a tilt at the UN job?

Secondly, a number of European Commissioners have been doing the rounds in Wellington lately. Some of their discussions in meetings with some of the movers and shakers in the National Party have included the possibility of Clark taking over at the UN when Kofi Annan’s term ends. Generally these sorts of conversations only occur when there’s some substance to the subject at hand. It’s common practice for opposition parties to be sounded out to see if they’re amenable before a concrete chain of events is set in motion. Naturally the National Party will be quite happy to see her go, as they’ll have a much better chance of winning the 2008 election if the Labour Party is fighting it with a new leader.

Thirdly, it’s the turn of the Asia-Pacific area to have a Secretary General at the UN. With the precedent now set for politicians to take the Secretary General’s post (e.g. Boutros-Ghali), Clark has a shot.

Fourthly, there has been some discussion about it being a woman’s turn to have the UN job. Historically it’s been a solely male position. If this speculation is correct it’s another factor counting in Clark’s favour.

While there are some strong arguments for Clark’s chances there is also one very compelling reason why she may fail in her ambitions. Namely, the opportunity for a member of the UN Security Council to veto her appointment. You don’t have to be a genius to figure out what, or who, the stumbling block may be here. In a word the USA.

Clark is not, and likely never will be, flavour of the month with George W Bush. Apparently her act of sending a congratulatory message to Al Gore for winning the 2000 presidential election has left him holding somewhat of a grudge against her. If she tries for the UN it’s odds on he’ll block it if he can.

Still the discussions on the political cocktail circle are interesting. The fact that they’re happening suggests something might be about to occur.

Mind you it could also be bullshit.

Ditch Crossing.

In light of this week’s budget (which was so boring I won’t go into it) there’s been a lot of cat-calling going on. It’s primarily coming from the Nat’s, and it’s all about tax. Well, tax-cuts to be precise.

Don Brash, Gerry Brownlee, and co have wittily suggested the only place that the average hard working Kiwi can get a tax cut these days is in Australia. Phrases such as the ”Bondi Brain Drain Budget” have been flying around willy nilly since Thursday night. Finance Minister, Michael Cullen, with his usual ascerbic humour has suggested if they reckon Australia is so great, then why don’t they just go there. That, he reckons, would be of inestimable value to NZ.

In light of this some wits in the Gallery (yes there are some with a sense of humour working there) having been coming up with suitable nicknames for these National stalwarts should they ever choose to up sticks and cross the ditch. Here are a few examples to whet your appetite:

Don “the dingo” Brash.
John “Coolangatta” Key.
Gerry “Billabong” Brownlee.

Yes, I admit they’re fairly weak. But the concept has potential.

Needless to say the coverage of the budget has struck a few nerves within the Government. The full page spreads and headlines bemoaning the lack of tax cuts saw Cullen’s press secretary, Mike Jaspers, bestriding the gallery corridors on Friday accusing certain media outlets of buying into National Party propaganda. Admittedly he was pretty tongue in cheek about it, but he said it nevertheless. Actually his stance has a certain irony, as it wasn’t too long ago that he was a business reporter for TVNZ, and in that capacity he was never shy of firing a few shots across the bows of Government economic policy.

Finally some questions worth considering:

1) Why were so few of the left wing of the Labour Party at Michael Cullen's post budget drinks?

2) Whose staffer was it that was literally throwing herself all over a certain (single) Cabinet Minister?

Back In Circulation.

Either it's coincidence, or the Gods like to have their fun with me when I start a new job. I've yet to have a gradual easing in to a new work environment. It's always a case of finding myself up in it up to my neck and paddling furiously. The move to Wellington has proved to be a similar story.

In my first week on the job there's the biggest pre-budget leak in 20 years. How's that for an introduction to life in the Press Gallery? Never mind trying to find my way around the labyrinth that is Parliament, I also have to join the posse that's hot on the trail of the civil servant that knocked the stuffing out of Michael Cullen's Budget.

Proving that there's no honour among thieves Telecom's dobbed the mole in to the State Services Commission which is handling the inquiry. If a journo did this to a source they'd be hung drawn and quartered for the being a lily livered gutless swine. I guess in this case it's Telecom's last attempt to buddy up to the Government before its license to print money is ripped out of its hands. A futile effort at trying to get back in the Government's good graces.

As to who the leaker is ... well everyone is pretty much in the dark. Parliament's not normally noted for keeping stuff like this quiet but in this case most I have seen are still scratching their heads.

As it stands there are four areas where the leaker could come from. Within Cabinet and its associated staff. From the Ministry of Economic Development, which would have had a major hand in developing the policy. Treasury, which would have done the financial implications and costings. And the Ministry of Justice, which would have advised on the legislation needed for unbundling the local loop.

Now the Prime Minister has pretty much ruled out it being from Cabinet saying she has assurances from her Ministers (whatever they may be worth). However she has let slip that the Cabinet papers that were leaked did go beyond the cabinet area. This is where MED, MOJ, and Treasury come in.

If I was to put my money on it I'd pick Treasury as the source of the leak. I say this because of the tensions between this Government and Treasury (remember the ideological burp). That and the fact there's always been a commonality of opinion between Treasury and Telecom on certain economic approaches ... especially with regard to Government interventionism.

Either way we'll find out next week.

T' Other Side of the Story

Christchurch man Daryl Falcon's gained a fair bit of publicity in recent weeks for his assault on an 11 year old boy at Mairehau Primary School.

Now here's what the family of the 11 year old boy have to say about the case courtesy of a press release via a local PR company. Make of it what you will.

Media release
April 21 2006

Statement from Michael Teague, father of the young boy involved in an
alleged bullying incident in a Christchurch school

Colin Lee, director of Christchurch company Waimarie, was so concerned at
the pressure that the case involving an alleged bullying incident at a
Christchurch school was having on one of his employees Michael Teague (the
father of the son in question) that he not only sent the father home on
stress leave, but also enlisted the services of a PR firm to help the Teague
family issue a statement from their side of the issue.

Michael Teague has already suffered two heart attacks and is concerned that
undertaking a series of media interviews will further endanger his health.
However, the Teague family realises that they must put their side of the
case to ensure there is balance to this alleged incident and the aftermath.

A Christchurch father, whose son was pushed up against a wall and had a
man¹s fingers poked at his throat, said his son has been unfairly painted as
a habitual bully.

Michael Teague said that only one side of the story had emerged since the
11-year-old, a pupil at Mairehau Primary School, was assaulted by the father
of a fellow pupil.

The two children sat side by side in class and had been sniping at each
other for some time. My son then became annoyed and pushed a book at the
girl¹s arm. The teacher saw the incident and took both children away from
the classroom and gave detentions to both. Does that sound as though my son
was bullying her?

Mr Falcon dropped his daughter at a different school entrance the next
morning, because he knew it was the one my children used. The attack was
witnessed by my other son and daughter, who were terrified. It was also seen
by other pupils at the school. Mr Falcon was called a gentle giant in court
but what he did was a premeditated act of violence.

My son is big for his age ­ he weighs about 69kg. But that is almost 100kg
less than Mr Falcon. What is it saying about violence to have my son treated
in this way by a huge man?

He has never made any approach to us to say sorry, so that¹s why we said
we did not want him to get diversion through the courts.

While it¹s a shame that Mairehau School has not been able to comment
publicly on the case, I understand that they have firm policies in place and
they can¹t be seen to take sides. They have been excellent to us. The
principal, his deputy and the chairperson of the Board of Trustees met with
me and said that there was absolutely nothing to the incident in the
classroom.

It¹s also been brought to my attention that the girl involved in the
incident later encouraged her friends to bait my son, to see if they could
provoke a reaction. A teacher stepped in to ensure this did not happen.

My son has had a couple of other detentions at school, including one for
pushing over a friend. But it was only a falling out between friends and
they have just been away on holiday together. If he was constantly bullying
other children, we would have been told about it. Instead other parents have
been ringing us to support us.

This case has caused enormous stress for my wife and I and I have been
prescribed sleeping pills and anti-anxiety pills to help me get through it.

Time For a Change

I'm off to pastures new within a week or so and with the change of location (and job)will likely come a change of focus for the blog. It is with great regret I have to inform you that politics may tend to feature a little more often on this site than it has in the past. I'll try and restrict it to the purely salacious stuff though.

Actually the one thing I have realised is that uprooting and moving to a new city is a right royal pain in the arse. Getting possessions packed, the house sold, and moving companies organised is a unique sort of hell.

Selling the house has proved to be the easiest task of all. Thank God the property market is still trundling along nicely and there are still lots of suckers ... sorry I mean buyers ... out there. Still dealing with estate agents, open homes, and lawyers is not an experience I've enjoyed.

Packing is also a mixed blessing. Sure you find a lot of stuff you thought you'd lost. But you also find a heap of shit you really should have misplaced. Amongst my accumulation of goods I discovered a pair of black stovepipe jeans, black winklepicker boots, and the first two albums Madonna ever released. What the hell was I doing during the 1980's? Given that I also found two break-dancing tapes I sure hope it was drugs.

I've also noticed that moving companies have a nice little rort going when it comes to offering you insurance on your possession for the move. Unless you have a specific moving address identified your own insurance company won't give you cover for the move meaning you have to rely on the insurance package offered by the mover. Private insurance for property worth 150 grand will set you back a couple of hundred bucks. The same insurance from the movers is closer to $900. Is that a rip-off I'm smelling??

Buiding Blocks

Here's an interesting tale doing the rounds in the construction industry in Christchurch at the moment. It'd be nice to know how much substance there is to it.

Apparently a brand new townhouse has had to be demolished in the Northlands subdivision to the north of the city because it was built on the wrong section. According to the rumour the house was being built while its owner was overseas. The crew that was to lay the foundations turned up sometime last year and came across two empty sections side by side in the sub-division. Somehow they managed to put the foundation down on the wrong site.

From then on every other contractor who was hired for the project naturally followed their lead. Up went the walls, on went the roof, plumbing was connected, plastering, wiring, the whole works. Until it was discovered ... "oops hang on a minute, shouldn't this house be over there?" In the end the whole building had to be taken down and there are a few red faces as a result.

I'm not sure how the stuff-up was discovered. I can only imagine the owner of the section turned up one day and got the surprise of his life.

OK, So the Other Bastards Beat Me to It

Earlier this week I was promising some interesting information on the chairman of Hutchison Whampoa Limited's chairman, Li Ka Shing.

Unfortunately The Press beat me to it. Damn their eyes! (Sorry no online link available for their story.)

It seems the inestimable Li Ka Shing has a very interesting background. See here, here, and here.

Mr Li Ka Shing, I don't know what to make of these stories but you seem to have an interesting back ground.

The President's Brain is Missing!

Have you ever wondered if Dubya had voices inside his head telling him what to do? Well it seems someone did.

Something Serious.

For those of you not interested in local body politics, and I suspect that's most of you, I suggest you look away now.

Recent events appear to be lending weight to the supposition Christchurch's Mayor, Garry Moore, is having some sort of political sea-change. Garry Moore is a member of the Labour Party and has long been an advocate of preserving Christchurch's assets in the ownership of the City Council. He was publicly in support of this approach as a councilor and also from when he became Mayor back in 1998. It was, and remains a part of Labour 2021's policy. In fact the City Council then earned the ire of the sitting National government for its approach and was given the moniker "The People's Republic of Christchurch".

However things have changed. In recent months the Christchurch City Council has removed the Red Bus Company and Christchurch City Facilities from the strategic assets list. This effectively gives the Council the scope to sell them off if it so chooses. Another major policy change has been the proposal to engage in a joint venture over the ownership of the Lyttelton Port Company. The Council's trading enterprise, CCHL, intends to buy out the remaining 31 percent of shares of the company and then sell 49.9% of the company to a Hong Kong based firm called Hutchison Holdings (more on it and it's owners soon).

This is a major policy shift for the City Council and one that begs a few questions. Such as:

1) Why, if retaining assets for the public good is such a good idea, weren't ratepayers residents consulted on this?

2) Why didn't the Mayor, who's wholeheartedly endorsed these proposals, run on it as a platform at the last local body election?

3) Why is Garry Moore following strategies that appear to contradict Labour 2021 policy?

4) Is this a natural result of ongoing Council restructuring which has seen long serving local government managers replaced by recruits from private enterprise?

Garry Moore's explanation regarding the Port Company deal so far has been to argue that a strong overseas investor is needed to make it viable in the long term. He believes the port has been held hostage by shipping companies which have been playing different ports around the country off against each other to get the best deal possible. On Newstalk ZB today he even raised the spectre that shipping companies were considering making Australian ports the hub of their main operations (which is a bit dumb really because that's the way it is anyway).

If the deal goes through the Council, through CCHL, stands to make about 41 million dollars. When you think about it this isn't a lot of money for a major piece of infrastructure, especially when you consider the cost of buying out the 31 percent of the LPC will have to be deducted from it. The word is the Council will only end up with about 14 million dollars on the deal. Even then there's no guarantee CCHL will return the money to the Council as dividend.

Tomorrow - some little known details about Hutchison Port Holdings and its parent company Hutchison Whampoa Limited, and HWL's chairman Li Ka Shing.

Cheney, Abu Ghraib, and Guatanamo Bay

I'll let the Daily Show say it all ...



I will be posting something vaguely serious in the next day or so.

If I get the time.

Dead Eye Dick

There's just so much humour in US Vice-president Dick Cheney's shooting accident. I'd give it a crack but there are people who are far, far better than me. Here are a few samples.
(note broadband is advisable to view these)

From The Daily Show



David Letterman does his bit.



And so does Bob Rivers. Incidentally this is one of the better Aerosmith rip-offs I've heard in a while.

Just Links

Have you ever wondered what 100,000 volts might look like? If so, then take a look at this.

Feel like belting a penguin? This will relieve your tension. (491.3 ft is my current best)

If It Walks Like a Duck ....

This post is dedicated to the Christchurch Central Police Area Commander, Inspector Gary Knowles.

Last September, 17 year old Wayne Darias Silbery was at the wheel of a white 1989 Pontiac Le Mans that was involved in a multi-car pile up on Buckleys Road in the Christchurch suburb of Linwood. Five people required hospital treatment as a result. One teenager, 16 year old Rangi Wano who was a passenger in Silbery's car died from head injuries received in the crash.

At the time of the accident Silbery's car was being followed by an unmarked police car. The police had been trying to stop it as they were trying to apprehend Rangi Wano who had escaped from a CYFS home the previous day. Immediately after the accident Inspector Gary Knowles went to great lengths to impress on the media that police were only following the youths, that there was no police pursuit or chase (you'll have to scroll down a bit to see the news story on this link) happening at the time of the crash.

Well this is what came out at last week's depositions hearing. The driver of the Police vehicle, Constable Richard Carolan, gave evidence that there were two collisions between the police car and the youth's car in the course of the chase which went for about 2-3 km. He also said speeds reached during the pursuit (his words) were up to 100 km/h. This is on roads where the speed limits were 50-60 km/h. During the chase Silbery ran three intersections, crossed median barriers, and drove on the wrong side of the road at least twice before the fatal crash.

Now maybe I'm being a little picky but I reckon when there are speeds of up to 100 km/h recorded in 50 km zones, then it pretty much qualifies as a police pursuit. Doesn't it?

Other bits of information that came out in the hearing was that Constable Carolan had got his gold driving certificate (required training course in pursuit driving for officers) in August. When asked by Silbery's lawyer, David Ruth, he couldn't recall the number of pursuits he'd been involved in.

The issue I have here is not with the police actions in the pursuit, but how they were represented by senior officers afterwards. By categorically denying a pursuit took place Inspector Knowles has effectively hung the Constable out to dry. Constable Carolan now has to justify his actions, which in official terms were not a pursuit, but in reality were.

Did Inspector Knowles not realise details would come out later on in Court that would make his stance look like a deliberate campaign of misinformation. He's handed Silbery's lawyer the tool he needs to rip the police up one side and down the other when this gets to trial. David Ruth may not be able to get Silbery off, but he'll be able to make Canterbury Police look a bunch of incompetents.

On a final aside involving the Christchurch Police. They made an interesting, but unsuccessful, suppression application at this sentencing on Friday. The Crown's submissions bouyed police data which revealed the amount of violent crime had risen in Christchurch by about 40 percent in 2005 compared to 2004. Police had asked the data be suppressed as it normally goes through" further processes" before being released to the public. Good on Judge Erber for not having a bar of it! It'll be interesting to see Christchurch's 2005 crime statistics just to see what happens to the figures quoted in Court last week once they've been further processes.

Anyone care to make a wager that the rise in the"official violent crime rate" will be lower than 40%?

Merry Goddamn Christmas

Better late than never.



Seriously, who comes up with this shit?

Random Weirdness

The Australians once again come up with a stupid idea which allows us Kiwis to retain a feeling of moral superiority.

CANBERRA, Jan 30 (Reuters) - An Australian state plans to ban students from wearing denim because it is linked with having a good time.

"It is associated with weekend wear, with recreational time. It's just unacceptable at schools and we are trying to lift the standards," a spokesman for Western Australia state Education Minister Ljiljanna Ravlich said.

The ban on denim in Western Australia's secondary schools will be imposed from 2007.

Then the Alaskans just prove that's there only so much one can do to stay entertained in winter. To be honest I kind of like the concept. The idea of making a 140 foot ice tower is strangely appealing. I guess it's probably a bloke thing.

Finally, (and staying with America) which misguided genius came up with this idea? i mean it's quite impressive but for God's sake why would you want to know where your one dollar bills went? Personally I'd be more interested in tracking down the fifties or the hundreds. I see them so rarely that I wouldn't mind finding out who the lucky bastard was that ended up with them.

The Internet is for .....

This is an oldie but a goodie ... and, incidentally, sums up the real purpose of the internet.



(if you don't have broadband this will take an age to load)

Movie Critics Gone Nuts

Only in America can a piece of classic childrens' literature be turned into gangsta rap. C.S Lewis must be spinning in his grave.

Bloody funny though.

It Takes It's Toll.

After a break of about seven years I ventured onto the Cook Strait Ferries this holiday season. And immediately remembered why I'd made a pledge in 1998 never to travel on them again. Tranzrail or Toll it doesn't seem to matter who runs the interisland service they all seem to make a bloody great mess of it.

One got my goat on this occasion was the way they berth the new ferry Kaitaki in Wellington harbour. Take it from me, if you take the one PM service from Picton don't expect to be getting off it in a hurry if you are taking your car across.

Here's why:

The Kaitaki doesn't berth at the old ferry terminal. Instead it ties up further towards the city ... sort of near where Shed 11 used to be. From the off-ramp of the ferry, it's a mere 150 or so metres to the traffic lights that get you onto the main road outside the train station. That 150 metres fills with cars very rapidly and the lights aren't friendly towards cars coming off the ferry. Especially when it's rush hour.


That's the view that greets the travelling motorist as they get off in Wellington. Mind you they have to wait for it. Around 45 minutes in a fume engulfed ship's hold. Having said that, as bad as I felt I can only assume these poor souls behind me were far worse off.


The three hours spent on the boat isn't so bad, but take it from me having to wait the best part of an hour to get off is a pain in the arse. Toll, could you kindly sort your shit out!