Sunday, September 28, 2008

Grandiose Delusions

When it comes to the relationship between bloggers and journalist I notice some bloggers seem to think that journalists feel threatened by them. In their view they think reporters see bloggers as competition in efforts to communicate with the public. Based on that the bloggers assume reporters hold some antipathy towards then and are "out to get them" - as it were. Some even believe journalists refuse to follow stories published by bloggers because they're part of a system designed to suppress information and stop the real truth being told.

Now far from it be for me to prick this little conspiracy bubble, but, it's a complete load of crap.

The reason journalists largely ignore the efforts of bloggers is because most of the time the said efforts are complete shit. Generally the research is lacking, fact checking non-existent, and understanding of defamation laws completely absent. Suppression orders are rarely understood, and the rules of court reporting escape them completely.

Basically most bloggers have little, or no, understanding of the rules and ethics that professional journalist follow. And, generally, it shows in the work they do.

And don't even get me started on the ones that subsist by ripping off screeds of work done by working reporters and then adding on a comment or two and passing it off as some work of creativity.

That isn't writing, it's plagiarism and it has no merit whatsoever.

Now I realise I'm being a bit tough on bloggers (which is a bit unusual given I sort of am one myself) but I don't hate them all. There are some true creative geniuses out there who are responsible for some very fine work which I have enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy.

It's just the wingnut, conspiracy addled, defamatory, fuck-knuckles that I can't stand. They know who they are.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Stop Bloody Cribbing John

In his closing speech to Parliament today John Key was quoted thusly;

Mr Key says Labour's a walkman in an iPod world.However he says the walkman batteries have gone flat and the music's stopped playing.
Now normally I wouldn't have a problem with this as it's not a bad metaphor. A little glib maybe, but not a bad turn of phrase.

Except ....

In 2006, in his adjournment speech to Parliament shortly after taking the National Party leadership, John Key said this:
As we saw from Michael Cullen's speech, their days are numbered. They are a Walkman Government in an iPod world. They are dinosaurs, that is what they are. They are gone. That member does not know what an iPod is, that is the problem. He should plug it into his ears.
C'mon John, how hard is it to come up with some new material??? I mean, given recent events, there's been some A-grade material to poke fun at.


The Truth Hurts



Visit this guy. His stuff is fantastic.

And, if the whole credit crunch/sub-prime mortgage crisis has you confused then I strongly suggest you visit here. It's international finance made easy.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

How Not to Market

A small word of advice to Investigate Editor Ian Wishart.

If you're touting for business and trying to get paying subscribers to sign up to your online publication try checking exactly who you're sending the email to.

I can't see many journalists signing up after reading this little missive which forms part of the email. And believe me I know I'm not the only one that got it.

I would make the point that if you believe New Zealand needs an independent media voice, then please support us. A columnist in one of the British papers yesterday made the point that democracy in the West is effectively dead because of the liberal-left stranglehold on the media – so many newsrooms are staffed by liberals that no matter which political party takes power, unless they meet the demands of the left wing media they are effectively dog tucker after a while.
Mr Wishart, I know you only by reputation and you certainly don't know me or my politics. So can you kindly take your sweeping generalisations and stick them up your arse.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

And You Thought You Were Having a Bad Day...

No sound - it really doesn't need any


Rhyme Time

I've come to the conclusion most political stories/scandals can be summed up in terms of childrens' playground rhymes.

For example:

The Winston Peters/NZ First funding scandal.

"Liar, liar. Your pants are on fire."


The tiff on who can we trust between Labour and National. John Key and his Tranzrail shares vs Helen Clark not letting on about her knowledge of Winston Peters' funding arrangements.
"I know you are, you said you are. But what am I?"

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Politically Incorrect Joke of the Week

A bloke goes into a bar and says to the bartender "I'd like a Winston Peters".
The bartender's perplexed having never heard of such a drink before.
"Come again? What was it you were wanting?"
"A Winston Peters" says the customer.
"Look" says the bartender, "I'm sorry I have no idea what that is"
To which the customer replies, "A Lion Brown".

[with apologies to the office of the race relations conciliator]


Sunday, September 14, 2008

Game Time

OK things are set to be very hectic over the next couple of months as I gallivant all over the country chasing politicians in the build up to the election.

Depending on how riveting it is (and if there's any decent goss') I may post on it from time to time. Though I suspect work commitments will be the over-riding priority.

It'll definitely mean no time for exercise which will be real bummer as Wellington's weather seems to have turned the corner. Today was just the perfect day to do this. Not a long ride, but has a couple of hefty hills, and I must be getting fit as for once I was actually overtaking people on the climbs.

Not bad for a dirty smoker.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

A Quick Prediction

Based on Owen Glenn's testimony today and comments subsequently made by the Prime Minister here's how I think the rest of the week will play out.

Winston Peters will give his evidence tomorrow night.

Helen Clark will consider it.

And on Thursday, or Friday at the latest, Winston Peters will be ....



And why do I say this?

Well the Emissions Trading Scheme, for which the Government needs and has NZ First's support, is set to pass tomorrow night before Winston Peters Privileges Committee hearing is due to finish.

The Government has its keynote law in the bag. The PM can give Mr Peters the right of reply and observe due process.

Then she can give him the boot.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

It Really Ought to Happen to Someone Else

When you're a bloke you tend to go through much of your life under the impression that you are indestructible. It's about the time you pass 30 that you start to find out this assumption no longer stacks up as much as one would like it to.

For example; any medical issues relating to the lower gastrointestinal tract are supposed to be solely reserved for the drooling, wrinkly geriatrics in the over 50 age group. The whole concept of something going wrong "down there" is, generally, so far removed from any conscious thought that it might as well not exist.

Which means when such a problem does crop up it can come as a rude shock - in every sense of the word.

Take it from me there is nothing quite as disconcerting as having to undergo a medical procedure that involves a TV camera entering one's body via orifices a TV camera was plainly never meant to go. It's even more disturbing when one finds out after the procedure that the sedation was supposed to have been such that recall of the event should have been impossible.

In my case it wasn't.

And you can take it from me seeing and feeling sections of your lower intestine being biopsied is not something you need, or want, to remember.

BTW the nurses are bloody fantastic but all those fantasies about potential romantic entanglements go right out the window.

It's hard enough looking them in the eye after they've helped ram a camera up you nether regions. Hitting on them is simply right out of the question

Now to finish on a lighter note.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Evolution of Winston.

(or a three line political history)

1993 - THE GREAT REDEEMER



1996-99 - THE GREAT PRETENDER



2008 - THE GREAT DECEIVER??

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Doublespeak, Evasions, Fibs, and Downright Lies.

I'm talking about you Mr Peters.

Administrative error my arse!