Sunday, December 24, 2006

Whatever Happened to ...

Remember Tom Wilson?

Actually I'd be surprised if you did. He was the guy who played Biff in the Back to the Future Movies. You know the bully that got his jollies out of beating up on the McFly family. Well those were pretty much the only films he ever did and he disappeared amidst the detritus of Hollywood history.

But then the other day I found this on Youtube:

Not that much of a chip on his shoulder is there?

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Absolute Genius.

This is one for all my fellow grinches. Seasons Greetings to you all!

This is part one of three. Please make sure you see the rest.

I shall now disappear and continue my annual practice of evading family Christmnas gatherings and eluding workmates and friends who try to co-opt me into their events on the argument of: "it's not right to be alone at Christmas".

I've got news for you. It's bliss.

Actually I'm sure Mary wasn't to chuffed about having Joseph, three strange bearded astrologers, and a menagerie in attendance when she was giving birth to the Messiah. I bet she woud have preferred a few qualified medical professionals and an epidural as opposed to gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Secret Life of Kermit the Frog

I knew his goody good image was too good to be true.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Still Harping On About Christmas.

I was going to write a piece about what might happen if Jesus had been born in our times. However someone much more talented than I beat me to it.

One thing I do know is that Jesus would never make it into a decent nightclub.
"Oi hippy! No sandals, piss off!"

Dear God!

Message boards dedicated to ER specialists are simply the best invention in the world. Seriously.

Yes, you can have sex with your wife in between her contractions. However, the obstetrician is really not going to appreciate it.

If you're bored over the holidays go here. Trust me you will not regret it.

Unless you're the squeamish sort that is.

Merry F**King Xmas

Here's my contribution to the Yuletide spirit.

Dead Santa.

Granddad obviously died playing Santa last year but the family just left him propped up in the corner. Hence the pale, waxy, corpselike appearance. Is it any wonder the child is terrified.

Criminal Santa.

Is it just me or did we see this Santa on Crimewatch the other night? Knocking off a bank? Mugging a granny? Sexually assaulting a small child?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Catch That!

By the time the second cricket test between NZ and Sri Lanka is over the Kiwi Captain, Stephen Fleming, should hold the new record for number of test catches taken by a non-wicket keeper.

Currently he's on 156 catches from 103 tests. Aussie Mark Taylor took 157 in 105 tests

And this would have to have been the best.

Saturday, December 09, 2006


I've just learnt something very interesting about the quality control in the national newsroom of one of NZ's largest commercial radio stations.

Apparently it's ok to change quotes from interview subjects to make them that little bit more punchy. As long as the meaning is the same it doesn't matter if the words are changed.

I suspect the people being quoted (or should that be misquoted?) might have a different opinion.

Commercial radio news - the medium where we'll make you say what we thought you should have said.

Money vs Morality

The coup in Fiji has been a farce of epic proportions. Sadly so too has been our Government's handling of the crisis from beginning to end.

Firstly, in an attempt to steal a diplomatic march on Australia, Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Prime Minister Helen Clark involved themselves in clandestine talks with the two main protagonists Fijian Prime Minister Laisenia Qarase and head of the Fijian Military Commodore Voreqe Bainimarama.

Bainimarama was in NZ at the time visiting family and the media knew he had to be meeting Winston Peters. The two are old friends and have been known to spend a convivial night in each others' company (ask the barstaff at the Green Parrot). Yet the Minister's office was a cone of silence when asked what was going on between the two men.

Unfortunately in a fit of Trans-Tasman comradely behaviour our Government was keping Australia's Foreign Minister Alexander Downer in the loop. Mr Downer then gleefully leaked the goings on to the Australian press with the end result of NZ's foreign policy being announced across the ditch. Reportedly Clark was spitting tacks at this.

Clark and Peters then announced they'd managed to set up a meeting between Qarase and Bainimarama. Face to face talks, they trumpeted, could be a way of averting a crisis. Yet behind the scenes the story was very different. They knew Bainimarama was mad as a march hare and any statements he made had about as much value as a bucket of warm spit (this was reinforced by an interview the Commodore gave the day before the meeting in which he said Qarase would have to meet his demands, no ifs, no buts, no maybes). However they had to be placatory in their approach as it was felt being publicly critical of Bainimarama would result in a coup happening sooner rather then later.

Well in that they were borne out to a certain degree. The coup did come later rather than sooner. But it's been remarkably apparent the meeting between Qarase and Bainimarama had little, if any, value. All the NZ Government achieved by its actions was a temporary appeasement.

It's the actions of the Government subsequent to Bainimarama's coup that deserve scrutiny. Helen Clark's decried the Commodore as being deluded and announced a series of sanctions. These include freezing aid, suspending military conections, banning coup instigators from NZ, and a sports ban. However the ban doesn't stop NZ teams from going to Fiji and it doesn't stop the Fijian Rugby sevens side from playing in Wellington in February next year. The reason being given is that the sevens tournament is an international event organised by the IRB and while we could stop the Fijians from entering NZ it would likely result in the event being moved to Australia. That, says Minister of Sports Trevor Mallard, would punish NZ more than it would Fiji.

So on the one hand we have our Government expressing moral outrage at the damage being done to democracy in Fiji, yet on the other hand they're not prepared to back up their stance because it would cost us a rugby tournament.

It would appear the value of democracy in Fiji (such as it was) isn't more precious than a game of rugby. I find that kind of sad.

Why Don't We Get This Here?

TVNZ and TV3 take note and kindly get some of this onto our screens