Merry F**King Xmas

Here's my contribution to the Yuletide spirit.

Dead Santa.

Granddad obviously died playing Santa last year but the family just left him propped up in the corner. Hence the pale, waxy, corpselike appearance. Is it any wonder the child is terrified.

Criminal Santa.

Is it just me or did we see this Santa on Crimewatch the other night? Knocking off a bank? Mugging a granny? Sexually assaulting a small child?